A door...and so much more!
Musings on the life of a door, its etymology and its metaphysical meanings.
I am obsessed with doors. And with moldings, chairs, chaise lounges, laminates, console tables, curtains, sconces and upholsteries. Maybe it has to do with the fact that my mother is an interior designer and an artist, and I was brought up on a steady diet of art and architecture. Which is also why I know so many of these terms above and which has contributed to my general nuttiness about doors and their designs.
I once spent an entire day in Heidelberg simply photographing old doors. Before you raise your eyebrows, let me tell you, there was just so much to see in every door! Some had lions’ faces above them or angels near the doorbells or their founders’ faces looking down from above. Almost every door had intricately decorated wooden panels with a shiny brass letterbox for newspapers with “Zeitungen” (newspapers) written on it in a classical font.
Many of Germany’s pre-war buildings have these sort of doors, which adds to their old-world charm. Walking down a street full of these old buildings has always made me feel as if I have stepped through a time machine right into the 1800s, and may perhaps any moment see a horse and carriage trot by.
The word “door” in English has its origins in the German word “Tür”, the Old English “dor” or gate (originated from the Old German “Tor”, meaning gate) and from the Proto-Indo-European “dʰwer-”. The earliest records for the Proto-Indo-European languages were roughly around 3500 BC - 1100 BC, during the late Neolithic and early Bronze Age and their daughter languages formed the Indo-European language family. This family spread across certain parts of Europe and many parts of Asia, resulting in slightly and largely varying dialects belonging to the same family. The main descendants of these languages today, with the most native speakers, are: English, French, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, German, Persian, Russian, and the Indian languages: Marathi, Hindi, Gujarati, Bengali, Punjabi. Out of these, French, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish further evolved with the help of everyday Latin (Vulgar Latin) to form the Romantic Languages and the rest remained primarily Indo-European languages.
This is a door from my neighbourhood, set in an old stone building, complete with old-fashioned engravings on top, the door number in gold and some trademark German graffiti on the gate next to it. In the German language the door is feminine - die Tür (English Pronunciation: Dee Tyoo-er); the “die” indicates that the word is feminine. Which means this door is a woman. I like to think of her as a well-decorated brown woman, who likes art, so she keeps close to the graffiti and is always observing people. She is from the Door Community and hence cannot participate in human life directly, since this community has taken an eternal vow of silence, but she loves to watch everyone and everything. She also always makes way for everyone, accommodating them as much as possible, so that they may go around her to go into or out of the building. She bears the rain, the sun, the snow uncomplainingly and smiles on the people who polish up her appearance.
She has beautiful friends as well as plain friends; beautiful friends made of wood and iron with pretty designs on them, and plain plastic or steel ones, who suffer from some ill-usage. A few of them stand right opposite her and they sometimes exchange looks about the behaviour of humans around them. They can’t do much more than that - exchanging looks and observing everyone - apart from their vow of silence, they are also destined to stand where they are placed.
I’ve often wondered, how much of life this door must be seeing daily. Does it think about how beautiful life is, when spring roses bloom in the garden opposite? Does it wonder about the brevity of life, as one of the building’s occupants passes on to the next world and must be led out this very door? Surely, it laughs as children ride their bikes by it and wishes it could help them when they fall? Surely, it looks on lovingly at the old couple walking by slowly, holding hands and smiling? It certainly wanted to celebrate when a young graduate walked into the building, head held high at her achievements. It certainly wanted to joyfully shout when a young couple walked past it for the first time together, knowing they must be in love. I believe it dances on the inside too, whenever we have a street festival and the whole neighbourhood is outside, playing music, sipping wine, laughing and playing. I believe it likes to feel a warm human hand in its own (that is, on its door knob) everyday, whenever someone enters the building. I am sure it smiles back at me, whenever I look at it admiringly on my way to the grocery store.
In Sanskrit, the door is called “Dvaar” (written as: द्वार; phonetic: dvā́r) and is also a feminine noun. Sanskrit is the mother-origin of most Indian languages and is hence a part of the Proto-Indo-European language family. In the three Indian languages I speak, the word door is originated from the same “Dvaar” word in Sanskrit:
“Daar” (दार/dār) in Marathi,
“Dvaar” (द्वार/dvā́r) in Hindi,
and “Dvaar” (દ્વાર/dvār) in Gujarati.
Speak them out loud. They each sound very similar to “door” and “Tür”. In Sanskrit, however, the meaning for “Dvaar” is broader.
“Dvaar” in this case, means not only a door, but an opening, a gateway, an entryway, an opportunity. A threshold through which you step into newer opportunities and find a newer you. One of those doors which suddenly open, perhaps after years of waiting. An entry to a different world. This world that you’ve dreamt of, but not thought possible. And now a small shift in the universe has enabled this door to swing open on its hinges. The hinges were perhaps rusty before and you pushed and you pushed at the door with all your might, but it never budged. And now it has opened on its own. You look at it, surprised and happy, and walk slowly through it to your new world. A new you.
“Be an opener of doors”.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
There have been many such doors I have gone through; a new educational opportunity, a new job, a new country, and I am sure many of you would say the same. A door is that separation between outside and inside, a difference between within and without - a temporary holding space between 2 worlds, where you cannot linger. You can linger outside, for a long while, wondering if you’re fitted to the new situation inside the door; if it makes sense to take that new job, start that new relationship, move to that new city. You can spend a whole life wondering and doubting. But once you decide to go for it, you have pushed the door open. Now, however weak, however insufficient or however silly you may consider yourself; you have to go through. Even literally, you can’t really hold a door open and stand out on the road for 2 years. I mean, you could, but would you, really?
I have spent so long outside some of the doors in my life, that I now believe there’s a special door for self-doubters. A door that waits for you; no doubt, all doors do; but the door for self-doubters expects you to change and believe in yourself. Many such doors waited for me, so I think opportunities are not the quick whirlwinds everyone on social media would have us believe, but rather good, strong, solid doors who stare us down and ask us to do the work, all the while waiting patiently for the day when we may see fit to open them.
I hope you open doors. I hope you close them too, whenever you think it right. I hope you run through doors and embrace that new job, that new country, that new friend, that new hobby. I hope you never feel afraid to open a door, no matter how elite, how expensive, how obscure or how weird it may be.
And if you doubt your abilities, like I always did and sometimes still do, all I can tell you is what I know. That door, that opportunity, that relationship, that crazy dream will wait for you. Because you are the ONLY ONE who can open it and truly embrace it. So whenever you’re ready, it’s waiting for you patiently.
Your friend,
Ajita